Scholars: Below is a sample opening paragraph for a research paper that focuses on religious intolerance. Read the paragraph and then read about how I developed my ideas.
Our great country was founded upon the principles of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" for all Americans (Declaration of Independence). Our founding fathers were especially wise when they established the separation of church and state in the Constitution, another historical document that outlined the vision of a nation of people living together peacefully and with respect for one another's rights. An outgrowth of the establishment of the American nation and these important documents is the cherished ideal of Tolerance. Today, all across the country, states have laws that forbid discrimination based on race, color, national or ethnic origin, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, and religion. The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, ""We are all tied in a single garment of destiny . . . an inescapable network of mutuality" (Letter from Birmingham Jail). "I can never be what I ought to be until you are allowed to be what you ought to be." Americans should, like King, recognize their common humanity and tolerate differences, celebrating, rather than condemning, our rich diversity. After all, it is our differences that make the American republic one of the most vibrant in the world. Sadly, in the days after the horrific terror attacks of September 11, 2001, when almost 3,000 people died, some Americans decided to commit acts of intolerance against peace-loving Muslim Americans. Religious intolerance of this kind is an assault on the ethos (value system) of our great country, and should never be tolerated. It is incumbent upon us as individuals to practice tolerance every day of our lives. In this way, we show respect for our founding fathers and we also pay tribute to the many individuals who have suffered injustice and violence because of ignorance, callousness, and intolerance.
The above paragraph took about five revisions to reach its present form. And there is a good chance I will revise it again. Writing is a process. I worked as an editor at two major publishing houses, one in Boston and another in New York City (as well as a few additional smaller publishers). My experience as an editor was very enlightening, as I saw how many revisions were necessary to get the text (from quite successful writers) into book form. Writing is hard work. You need to push yourself to get better at it, like you push yourself to become better at a sport or an artistic endeavor. Consider yourself an athlete of the brain as well as of the body.
Let me explain my thinking- the process I went through in the above paragraph. I knew the topic was on Tolerance (capitalized only one time in the introductory paragraph to emphasize the importance of the word in this essay). Tolerance is an American ideal. I asked myself, "Where did that American ideal come from?" The obvious answer was that the ideal of tolerance is a natural consequence of our country's founding documents. I needed an interesting lead that would have some emotional appeal. What better way to introduce this topic than to allude to and quote from America's founding documents? So I had my idea for the above paragraph's lead sentences (hook). But then I thought, "I know I'm writing about religious intolerance, so why not emphasize the idea of 'separation of church and state' when I refer to the Constitution?" In this way, my beginning sentences point the reader toward my thesis, which comes at the end of the paragraph (underlined in green font; a thesis statement can be more than one sentence). I begin to evoke the idea of religion with that phrase.
My next thought was, "How do I transition from the reference to our Constitution to the idea of tolerance?" Hence the sentence that begins, "An outgrowth of the establishment . . ." Okay, so now I'm helping to direct the reader from a more general discussion of rights in America to the more specific outcome of those rights, which is tolerance for all. I then thought of the phrase about preventing discrimination that appears in laws nationwide, choosing to end with the word religion to emphasize my theme. My thoughts at this point were, "Is there a good quotation that I could include?" and "Which famous individual would be a fitting person to quote based on the topic of my essay?" Martin Luther King, Jr., came immediately to mind. Then I wrote the sentence, "The great Martin Luther King, Jr., once said . . ." After this, I decided to change great to Reverend because the word Reverend has religious connotations, pointing to the subject of my thesis statement. Next, I had to be sure to make my thesis very specific and narrow; I knew that I could not cover the entire subject of tolerance, or for that matter, religious intolerance in general, in one five-page research paper. I decided to focus on a particular type of religious intolerance--the acts of intolerance against peace-loving Muslim Americans after the events of September 11, 2001. (You would use examples from the past year.) I had narrowed the focus of my paper to a particular type of intolerance at a particular time, which is much more doable than trying to write an essay that covers intolerance in general or religious intolerance in general. I refined my thesis statement and, consequently, my paper. By doing so, my opening paragraph sets me up to write a focused, manageable argument based on the assignment.
Okay, so now, where do I go from here? This is what I am thinking: The first body paragraph of my paper will focus on the events of September 11, 2001: the vivid imagery, the news reports, the people's emotional reactions, and even my own reactions. Then I might google the text of President Bush's speech that evening to the American public and the world to find an excellent quotation.
My next paragraph will begin with a sentence something like this: "Unfortunately in the months after the September 11th attack, some Americans reacted in a negative way by blaming all Muslims for the actions of a radical terrorist organization that just happened to consist of Muslims who did not practice the authentic tenets of Islam, a religion that respects life." I would then argue how I think this intolerance behavior is unacceptable, and explain why.
I would follow that paragraph with specific examples (with citations) of some of the news stories that came out during that time when people attacked Muslims. I would provide quotes from those affected and perhaps even quotes from the perpetrators to show their ignorance. I would have several paragraphs of these examples, elaborating on the injustice of it all, and adding commentary in a strong voice.
After this, I would add several paragraphs where I elaborate on examples of Americans who chose not to react negatively toward Muslim Americans. I would highlight their goodness and elaborate on some of their stories with quotes (citations). I would praise their adherence to the American principle of tolerance. I might even refer to the demise of Bin Laden and how that was a healing event for our country. Perhaps I would quote from the speech President Obama gave that evening.
I would then close my essay by writing about my experience with tolerance/intolerance--some real-life examples that helped me become an empathetic and tolerant American. Then I would be sure to end the essay with an excellent, powerful statement that affirms my strong belief in tolerance due to my class readings, the examples of others, and perhaps an experience in my own life.
(Please note that my opening paragraph is long. Your opening paragraph should have at most 5 sentences with a strong, focused, narrow thesis. Introductory and concluding paragraphs need not be long--no more than 4 or 5 sentences. Body paragraphs should be at least 7 sentences. Do not include large quotes--only quote a sentence or two at most for each example. Then elaborate on what you have quoted, explaining how the quote relates to your argument/thesis. Your paper should be your original words/ideas/argument/voice, not a stringing together of quotes. See the link below.)
Link to Handout on Avoiding Plagiarism
http://scholarmulhern.blogspot.com/2013/08/all-classes-understanding-plagiarism.html#more
